Red Boldface

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 108

2012-01-03T13:03:00.001-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 107

2011-12-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 106

2011-12-20T09:17:00.000-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 105

2011-10-04T14:39:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 104

2011-09-01T12:35:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 102

2011-07-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 101

2011-06-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 100

2011-05-09T10:44:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 99

2011-04-01T10:08:00.003-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 98

2011-04-01T10:08:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 97

2011-02-02T07:59:00.001-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 96

2011-02-02T07:57:00.000-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 95

2010-12-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 92

2010-09-28T09:44:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 91

2010-08-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 90

2010-07-07T12:03:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 89

2010-06-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 88

2010-05-03T13:50:00.001-07:00

29 Mini-Essays by Joe Brainard

2010-04-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

PEOPLE

People are the most interesting books in the world.

THE BEACH BOYS

“The Beach Boys” are worth feeling old about liking.

AMBER

What few people seem to realize is that amber is just petrified tree sap.

T.V. DINNERS

Sometimes progress takes too big a bite and ends up with indigestion.

VAN GOGH

He dared look the sun in its face and steal its radiance.

OPTIMISM

Perhaps it is enough to know that nothing will ever be as it was before.

AMERICA

That a giant economy-sized box of “Supreme—Three Ply—Extra Soft—De Luxe” cleansing tissues only costs 39¢ ought, it would seem, to restore one’s faith in something.

MOTHER

A mother is something we have all had.

GIRL SCOUTS

Girl Scouts is more than selling cookies.

IMAGINATION

Imagination is the mother of reality.

PRIDE

Pride creates its own banana peels.

BREAD

Bread is the greatest loaf story in the world.

RECIPE

When in doubt, sprinkle with cheese and bake.

GARDEN

When in doubt, mulch.

FREUD

From Freud we learn that when a wife smashes a vase to the floor, it is really her husband’s head that lies there broken into many pieces.

THE ERA OF MIND

Geology, which is the story of the rocks, finds its climax in the history, which is the story of man… if you get my drift.

AUTUMN

Autumn gets the red out.

WOMEN’S LIB

A woman can do anything she puts her pants to.

PEOPLE

People who need people are the peopleish people in the world.

GARBAGE

As I was saying to my garbage on the way out the door the other night—“Why should I carry you down three flights of stairs? I don’t even like you!”

ON THE OTHER HAND

If you go to bed with your shoes on, you’ll save time in the morning.

EARLY ATHLETE’S FOOT

There is an old saying not to judge a man until you have walked in his moccasins for two moons.

YOU CAN’T LOSE FOR WINNING

He who would give his right arm to be a free man is a free man with one arm.

REMEMBRANCE OF WOMAN PAST

The echo of an interesting woman can be an ordinary scarf.

MOTIVATION

“Some day my prince will come…”

THE TRUTH

It may just be—you know—that “the truth” is far too obvious to risk any comprehension of.

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Would you believe a new Revlon fingernail polish called “Burnt Toast”!

HISTORY

What with history piling up so fast, almost every day is the anniversary of something awful.

PEOPLE

If I’m as normal as I think I am, we’re all a bunch of weirdos.

* Joe Brainard, 29 Mini-Essays (Z Press, Calais, Vermont, 1978)

15 Stories and Poems by Mike Topp

2010-04-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

“Mike Topp is a disablingly funny writer—a miniaturist of nervous precisions, our supreme abridger of metropolitan startlement and inner fidgetry. He dazes and graces us.” —Gary Lutz

“Just when I think Mike Topp’s poems are funny, they’re wise. Just when I think they’re wise, they’re bad. Just when I think they’re bad, they’re great. Mike Topp’s poems are exactly like the world.” —Eileen Myles

WAFFLE HOUSE

My friend from Waffle House says if you stacked all of the sausage patties they serve in one day, it would reach the top of the Empire State Building. I say, why bother?

FLAG

We were pledging allegiance to the flag and Dad caught me looking out the window. Mom said she didn’t think that was very patriotic of me. I said I was looking at the flag outside on the pole. Dad thought it over and said that from now on we were to all look at the flag inside.

TIMMY JOHN

I remember the first time we left little Timmy John alone. We had one of those doors for the cat to go in and out of. Sure enough, when we got home, little Timmy John had his head caught in it. He wasn’t hurt or anything—just a little frightened. But the cat was mad.

POEM

Low tide, flat water, sultry sun.
One observes profoundest shadows rolling
And messing up my lawn.

FOOD FACT

Two glasses of orange juice contain more Vitamin C than one glass of orange juice.

LAUGHTER

Laughter, according to Reader’s Digest magazine, “is the best medicine.”

DREAM JOURNAL ca October 10, 2009

Dear Dream Journal,

Last night I dreamed I had a lot of trouble falling off a log.

DIVINE LOVE

God rains his love down on us every day. But we don’t feel that love, because our ego is like a giant umbrella that we hold over our heads. What we need to do is put that umbrella away in the ego’s umbrella stand—then we will feel God’s love. Ego’s umbrella stand, in black walnut or mahogany. $7,500.

STELLA

It was a hot afternoon—perfect for a swim—but I’d promised Stella I’d meet her at the train station. Around two o’clock I took my bicycle and started out. When I arrived at the train station, Stella wasn’t there. Then I realized I wasn’t at the train station, but in a hut made of tongue depressors and pieces of gum. Still, where was she?

POST OFFICE

There’s this thing I do where I swallow letters, then I swallow stamps, then I pull them out and all the letters are stamped.

SHORT STORY

I got a great job last Friday but the pay is too low and the work I do is humiliating.

A BRONX WOMAN

Lindsay is always handing me jars that I can’t open. “Open this jar for me,” she says. Then she leaves the room and I twist and twist. The jar never opens. She comes back in a few minutes, and without saying a word she takes the jar from my hand and opens it. Then she goes about her business until there is another jar to open. “Open this jar for me,” she says. She doesn’t do it on purpose. Not Lindsay. I don’t know why she does it. I know her in person after worshipping her in Get a Clue, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Just My Luck, and Mean Girls.

What r your thoughts on WINDSHIELD WIPERS?

I’ve always wanted one, off and on, since a friend got one (from his aunt) in high school. Well, just as sure as death and taxes, I thought of them again yesterday when it was raining. Here’s a drawing I did of the one I want: /

EASY LOBSTER RABBIT

You will need a plate. You will need a saucepan. You will need two cans of Welsh rabbit. You’ll need a can opener to open them because you’re going to make Easy Lobster Rabbit. So you’re going to need one 5- or 6-ounce can of lobster, cubed and drained. You’re going to need mushrooms, 3 ounces of sliced broiled mushrooms. You’re going to need a small pan with a handle. So you better have that—that little pan with the handle. You’re going to need a small pan with a handle. You’re going to need hot toast points. Okay, let’s just recap really quickly, and just move things, really fast, fast as you can. You will need a small plate. You will need rabbit, lobster, mushrooms, white wine, hot toast points. A can opener. Dinner in 45 minutes? It’s possible! Delicious? Of course! Mealtime, on time, will be no problem with Easy Rabbit Lobster.

DEAR WEDNESDAY DIARY

I am interested in knowing if the Learning Annex will include typing in its program again this year. The rumor is that due to last year’s small turnout they might be discontinuing the class. I had to drop out for personal reasons and not for any lack of interest. Some of the other people I talked with that couldn’t continue the course said the same thing and are as anxious as I am about it. _TAB_

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 87

2010-04-01T13:00:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 86

2010-03-01T13:57:00.001-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 85

2010-02-02T07:03:00.000-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 84

2010-01-04T06:39:00.000-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 83

2009-12-02T08:11:00.001-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 82

2009-11-02T07:53:00.001-08:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 81

2009-10-05T09:33:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 80

2009-08-26T12:26:00.001-07:00

My Blue Velveeta Postcard from Purgatory Pie Press

2009-08-04T09:11:00.002-07:00

My Big Dipper Postcard from Purgatory Pie Press

2009-08-04T09:11:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 79

2009-07-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 78

2009-07-01T06:30:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume1, Issue 77

2009-06-01T09:04:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 76

2009-05-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 75

2009-04-01T05:12:00.000-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 74

2009-03-02T06:11:00.001-08:00

Tuna Casserole Greta Garbo

2009-02-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

Combine one 10 3/4 cup can of condensed cream of celery soup with 1/4 cup of milk. Stir in one 7-ounce can of tuna, drained and flaked. Add two sliced hard- boiled eggs and one cup of cooked peas. Bake 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Stir. Top with 1/2 cup of crumbled potato chips. Bake 5 minutes more. Always to be eaten alone in a candlelit room.

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 73

2009-02-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

Question

2009-01-27T10:31:00.000-08:00

How long after yelling “Stop the presses!” do the presses stop? What if no none hears you because the printing presses are so noisy?

Fruit Bowl

2009-01-21T12:47:00.000-08:00

A painter fell in love with a bowl of fruit. They enjoyed each other so fully that they hardly ate or slept for two and a half months. One morning the painter received the visit of an important person, who bought all his paintings and had them exhibited in a famous museum. The bowl of fruit was on the cover of an art magazine owned by the same person. The painter and the bowl of fruit bought a castle in Spain. They became farmers, read books, and helped needy people.

Rare Birds

2009-01-13T10:50:00.000-08:00

Billy, a sculptor in the service of a chinchilla rancher named Bill, lived in a treehouse for the summer. The rancher and his wife had hired Billy to do odd jobs, such as repairing fences, roofing, and so forth. They kept many other animals on their farm, including two huskies they were inordinately fond of. The rancher and his wife also participated regularly in orgies. One day, after Billy finished repairing their roof, the rancher invited him to a party, but Billy declined. The next day he was told not to come into work; overnight in a thunderstorm one of the huskies had leaped over a fence, hanging himself on his own leash. It is stated in the classics: "Rare birds and strange beasts should not be kept in this country."

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 72

2009-01-05T13:24:00.000-08:00

Sex-Crazed Love Goddesses

2008-12-25T09:26:00.000-08:00

It was still snowing. All the brown earth was covered with a blanket of snow. Mr. Martin shook the snow off his boots and set them by the fireplace to dry. Then he settled in an easy chair and drew close to the fire. He was cold after driving the team out from town. It was no night for even a dog to be out! A dog's bone should be given to him by the fire on a night like this, he thought. The cattle were warm in their barn, anyway. Just then Mr. Martin looked up and saw his wife coming through the door, a pan of hot sugar cookies in her hand. As he ate, he said, "Mary, if I could write a poem, I wouldn't write about winter coming and the crops all being in, or about white snow and a warm fire. The principal thing I'd write about would be your sugar cookies, hot out of the oven!"

This Day In History

2008-12-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury, founded the first bank of the United States. It was called "The First Bank of the United States."

Motto

2008-12-19T13:11:00.001-08:00

Live free or buy.

Survey

2008-12-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

In a milk drinking contest, is it okay to have one of the contestants drink chocolate milk?

The Most Dangerous Man in Publishing

2008-12-08T06:27:00.000-08:00

http://www.newsweek.com/id/172555/page/1

At the Movies

2008-12-06T20:15:00.000-08:00

"Going Ape!" * (1981) Tony Danza, Chelsea Martin. A rich man's son has to babysit his father's three pet orangutans for five years in order to inherit $5 million.

"Monkeys, Go Home!" ** (1967) Tao Lin. The owner of a Chinese restaurant shocks his wife and neighbors by having trained monkeys wait on customers.

"Bones In My Ice Cream" (1985) Cloris Leachman, Blake Butler. A woman's husband goes into the restroom of a highway rest stop but does not come out.

"Free Ride" * (1986) Kevin Sampsell, Michael J. Fox. A preppie and his buddy stash mob money in the bottom of a nude statue at a girls' finishing school. 'R'

WE ASKED 100 COLLEGE STUDENTS A BIG 'Q'.

2008-12-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

What car, out of all history, would you like to own? Here are the results.

-Gremlin 11
-Corvette 9
-Mustang 7
-Lincoln 4
-Pinto 2

There were more cars mentioned which didn't get enough votes (Confirmed - Ed.).

27-21 Bears Win

2008-12-06T10:12:00.000-08:00

Been pouring rain until today. Bondoed the boat. Had a leak. Taking a drive down to Dreamland. P.K. made me a pie yesterday. I was at the bar watching the Raiders-Oilers game and boy was she pissed.

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 71

2008-12-01T06:22:00.001-08:00

The Office

2008-11-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

I know tomorrow is a holiday, but we just have to make the dates on this schedule. If you come in I’ll put you down for some comp time, which will give you three days total. In all my years as managing editor I have never given over seven to a single employee and here it is only halfway through the project. Think it over.

Embraceable You

2008-11-25T11:31:00.001-08:00

EMBRACEABLE YOU (1948) Dane Clark. Geraldine Brooks. Crook loves hit-and-run victim.

Normal

2008-11-19T06:47:00.001-08:00

Anxiety. Insomnia. Nervousness. Increased libido. Agitation. Apathy. Aphasia. Ataxia. Coma. Convulsions. Dysphonia. Emotional lability. Extrapyranmidal disorder. Flushing. Hearing disorder. Hot flashes. Hypersthesia. Hyperkinesia. Hypertonia.

Arrival of the Demon

2008-11-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

A match may start a fire, but once the fire is burning, putting out the match won't stop it. The problem is no longer the match. It's the fire: That's where the black clouds that cover up the horizon come from.

In the Future

2008-11-17T13:31:00.000-08:00

In the future I will wake up on time.
In the future I will eat more vegetables.
In the future I will wear nice clothes.
In the future I will do yoga every day.
In the future I will keep the apartment clean.
In the future I will stop smoking.
In the future I will remember to take vitamins.
In the future I will not drink too much.
In the future I will give up caffeine.
In the future I will cut down on salt.
In the future I will be careful on the street.
In the future I will avoid cholesterol.
In the future I will stay in shape.
In the future I will be careful with money.
In the future I will practice safe sex.
In the future I will be on time.
In the future I will stay away from sweets.
In the future I will learn French.
In the future I will keep in touch with friends.
In the future I will obey the signs.
In the future I will not live in the past.
In the future I will be politically aware. For example, who are my revolutionary inspirations -- and why? Well, Che Guevara, obviously, since we're so much alike. The parallels are quite uncanny -- he was a Cuban revolutionary, wore a beret, and disappeared into the jungles of South America in the 1960s to lead Marxist rebellions. And I also enjoy many activities. Plus I think I got shot in Bolivia in 1967. No, wait a minute, that was Chile in 1973, and it was in a dream. But you see what I'm saying about the uncanniness...

Plastic Ruler Wood Ruler

2008-11-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

Our family went shopping for school supplies one Sunday at the local shopping center. I noticed that plastic rulers cost more than wood rulers even though the wood ones were nicer and I thought that maybe it was because the plastic ones were longer.

The Truth

2008-11-12T09:13:00.001-08:00

I need to have these little plastic animals around me because I often feel lonely.

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 70

2008-11-07T09:38:00.000-08:00

The Godfather

2008-11-06T07:31:00.000-08:00

One afternoon the Godfather was cooking up some spaghetti. He had peeled the cloves of garlic well, and the oil was already on the flame. The Godfather began slicing the garlic so thin he could hardly believe it himself. He chuckled as he tossed the garlic into the oil. (To be continued.)

2008-10-25T13:25:00.001-07:00

A pink elephant and a green kangaroo and two yellow snakes strolled up to the bar. "You're a little early, boys," said the bartender. "He ain't here yet."

2008-10-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

MOOD: FrusTraTeD!!
MUSIC: Department of Eagles - Teenagers

Thunk

2008-10-21T06:21:00.001-07:00

Ryan Manning interview me, Prathna Lor, Tao Lin, and a bunch of other people here: http://metaphysicalthinking.blogspot.com/search/label/mike%20topp

Evergreen Review Reader 1957-1966

2008-10-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

New Observations 96

2008-10-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

New Observations 66

2008-10-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

Bombe for Dessert

2008-10-15T09:29:00.001-07:00

He is afraid to go to the war zone but he has heard one restaurant there serves a great bombe.

Mike Topp

2008-10-14T13:15:00.001-07:00

lives and works for the FBI in New York City. He celebrates his 75th birthday this Christmas.

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 69

2008-10-08T06:15:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 68

2008-10-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

Things To Do In Hell

2008-10-08T06:10:00.001-07:00

1. Stop finishing other people's sentences.
2. Volunteer as a part-time Santa.
3. Send your parents on a cruise to Purgatory.
4. Give Mussolini a hotfoot.
5. Order fifteen pizzas using Judas's name.
6. If you're in demon school, tell the teacher that Cerberus ate your homework.
7. Muse aloud, "So it's NOT the humidity, after all!"
8. Ask Charon if he has change for a twenty.
9. Get that mole looked at.
10. Complain that red is so ten minutes ago.

Care-Self Cocoa Butter

2008-09-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

Care-Self Cocoa Butter can be used in a number of ways. You can use it to moisturize and revitalize the skin and you can use it as a sunscreen. But make sure you read the manufacturer’s, um...cautions. What’s wrong? Is it that little red dot? Let’s go inside then. Care-Self Cocoa Butter Cream can be used in a number of ways. You can use it to moisturize and revitalize the skin. Use your imagination...

Podcast

2008-09-26T06:39:00.001-07:00

Iran and Iraq have still not reached an agreement today. Saudi Arabia is still undecided whether it's going to remain neutral or not. Another mosque was bombed today and now it's just a heap of rubble. One car ran into the back of another car and both exploded. Today it's fairly sunny. The weather outside is cloudy and bright. Armed peacekeepers today went into action… Peacekeepers charged with keeping peace with arms moved into the city today. Oil was volatile and the Chicago Bulls edged the Bears 108-101 in overtime. Over time the Chicago Bears edged the Bulls 108-101 today. One car ran into another and they both exploded. They blew up another mosque and now it's just a heap of rubble. Construction has begun on another mosque. Armed peacekeepers are still keeping the peace. Oil was volatile today. Saudi Arabia and Iraq have still not reached an agreement and Iran has remained neutral. Locally, another mosque was bombed today. Virtually demolished it. There's nothing left but a heap of rubble. Iran and Iraq have still not reached an agreement. Saudi Arabia has remained neutral. The peacekeepers arrived bearing arms. None of them are unarmed. Oil was volatile according to a bulletin from OPEC or whatever it is—the organization of eleven oil-producing nations. In Saudi Arabia today one car ran into another car and both of them exploded. They blew up another mosque—virtually demolished it. There's nothing left but a heap of rubble.

Dad

2008-09-24T13:35:00.001-07:00

A fortuneteller told Dad that he would die September 9, 1998. The day came and went and Dad, who had died eight months previously, had the last laugh.

Castle

2008-09-23T13:21:00.001-07:00

When my father first heard I bought a castle, his eyes got wide, his coffee cup came down. I said to him, Look Dad, don’t get upset—it’s not real flashy like the kind you usually see advertised on TV. But Dad didn’t adjust to it at all, frankly. He’s really old-fashioned.

FREE BEER!!!

2008-09-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

Oops! That was a typo. We meant to say wtf.

Warning

2008-09-15T08:52:00.001-07:00

A word with seven letters.

Plog Bost:

2008-09-11T06:26:00.001-07:00

Dear fiary - you cant win...! Just win your expecting it high and inside it comes to you low and away!!!! What's UP with that. Win you think the heat is off you relax for for just a second and thats win they nail you. But you’re obsessed and you fight back with all you've got because you only go around once in life and second best is not enough.
====DREAMINGUY49================

Parachute

2008-09-08T06:54:00.001-07:00

If you ever jump out of a plane, and your parachute doesn't open, don't worry. Worry won't get you anywhere.

This Day in History

2008-09-05T06:25:00.001-07:00

Fifteen years ago today middle-aged men began to say “Back in the day.”

Recent Bumper Stickers

2008-08-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

I'm Already Against Chain Smoking

Death Will Take Care
Of Your Housecleaning Problems

My Other Car Is A Tube Worm

Choose One:

2008-08-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

A. Spaghetti factory
B. Teenage emotion
C. Dried meat log

Pride

2008-08-27T13:45:00.001-07:00

Pride is like a chicken sitting on a heat lamp, or like a cue ball in your underwear. You don’t even care, do you?

Disorders in Which Laughter May Be a Symptom

2008-08-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

Manganese poisoning
Wilson disease
Some types of epilepsy
Alzheimer’s disease
Pick disease
Rett disorder
Angleman disorder
Williams disorder
Some types of schizophrenia
Lou Gehrig’s disease

L'Envoi

2008-08-21T06:26:00.001-07:00

The king has eleven horses. Nine ran away. The queen has ten dogs. She gave six away. Does it bother you that the king has horses and the queen has dogs?

The Beach

2008-08-19T07:40:00.001-07:00

My girlfriend and I were at the beach when she commented on how appealing she found a seagull that was eating nearby. I told her that it wasn’t cute, that it might not even really be a bird.

How to Write a Haiku

2008-08-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

A well-known American poet was asked how to compose a haiku.

“The usual method is three lines,” Ron explained. “The first line contains five syllables; the second line, seven syllables; the third line, five syllables. One of my poems illustrates this:

First: five syllables
Second: seven syllables
Third: five syllables

Salt & Pepper

2008-08-16T04:51:00.000-07:00

I'm in the salt business. We make table salt that we're very proud of — it's very salty. My brother is in the pepper business so we get along quite well. Whenever I go over to his house we show each other our products and see who comes out on top. But we're great pals.

Flag

2008-08-15T06:25:00.001-07:00

We were pledging allegiance to the flag and Dad caught me looking out the window. Mom said she didn't think that was very patriotic of me. I said I was looking at the flag outside on the pole. Dad thought it over and said that from now on we were to all look at the flag inside.

Animal Hospital

2008-08-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

I went to the animal hospital. A guinea pig gave me a number, a clipboard, and a pen. He read the New York Post.

Spirit of Inquiry

2008-08-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Sasquatch Sightings So Far This Year: 6.7

Question

2008-08-12T06:55:00.001-07:00

What was Henry VIII's real last name?

A Bronx Woman:

2008-08-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

Lindsay is always handing me jars that I can’t open. “Open this jar for me,” she says. Then she leaves the room and I twist and twist. The jar never opens. She comes back in a few minutes, and without saying a word she takes the jar from my hand and opens it. Then she goes about her business until there is another jar to open. “Open this jar for me,” she says. She doesn’t do it on purpose. Not Lindsay. I don’t know why she does it. I know her in person after worshipping her in Get a Clue, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Just My Luck, and Mean Girls.

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 67

2008-08-08T08:07:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 66

2008-06-24T06:28:00.002-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 65

2008-06-24T06:28:00.001-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 64

2008-06-24T06:27:00.002-07:00

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 63

2008-06-24T06:27:00.001-07:00

VOTE NOW

2008-04-08T11:14:00.001-07:00

GROUNDHOG MEAT or GROUND HOGMEAT

Sasquatch Story

2008-03-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Donna stretched out a hand and caught hold of the edge of the coat and tugged at it; he pulled up the window and turned. He bent and put his hands on the fur over her breasts and kissed her hard on the lips.