Tuesday, January 27, 2009


How long after yelling “Stop the presses!” do the presses stop? What if no none hears you because the printing presses are so noisy?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Fruit Bowl

A painter fell in love with a bowl of fruit. They enjoyed each other so fully that they hardly ate or slept for two and a half months. One morning the painter received the visit of an important person, who bought all his paintings and had them exhibited in a famous museum. The bowl of fruit was on the cover of an art magazine owned by the same person. The painter and the bowl of fruit bought a castle in Spain. They became farmers, read books, and helped needy people.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Rare Birds

Billy, a sculptor in the service of a chinchilla rancher named Bill, lived in a treehouse for the summer. The rancher and his wife had hired Billy to do odd jobs, such as repairing fences, roofing, and so forth. They kept many other animals on their farm, including two huskies they were inordinately fond of. The rancher and his wife also participated regularly in orgies. One day, after Billy finished repairing their roof, the rancher invited him to a party, but Billy declined. The next day he was told not to come into work; overnight in a thunderstorm one of the huskies had leaped over a fence, hanging himself on his own leash. It is stated in the classics: "Rare birds and strange beasts should not be kept in this country."

Monday, January 05, 2009

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 72