Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Office

I know tomorrow is a holiday, but we just have to make the dates on this schedule. If you come in I’ll put you down for some comp time, which will give you three days total. In all my years as managing editor I have never given over seven to a single employee and here it is only halfway through the project. Think it over.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Embraceable You

EMBRACEABLE YOU (1948) Dane Clark. Geraldine Brooks. Crook loves hit-and-run victim.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Normal

Anxiety. Insomnia. Nervousness. Increased libido. Agitation. Apathy. Aphasia. Ataxia. Coma. Convulsions. Dysphonia. Emotional lability. Extrapyranmidal disorder. Flushing. Hearing disorder. Hot flashes. Hypersthesia. Hyperkinesia. Hypertonia.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Arrival of the Demon

A match may start a fire, but once the fire is burning, putting out the match won't stop it. The problem is no longer the match. It's the fire: That's where the black clouds that cover up the horizon come from.

Monday, November 17, 2008

In the Future

In the future I will wake up on time.
In the future I will eat more vegetables.
In the future I will wear nice clothes.
In the future I will do yoga every day.
In the future I will keep the apartment clean.
In the future I will stop smoking.
In the future I will remember to take vitamins.
In the future I will not drink too much.
In the future I will give up caffeine.
In the future I will cut down on salt.
In the future I will be careful on the street.
In the future I will avoid cholesterol.
In the future I will stay in shape.
In the future I will be careful with money.
In the future I will practice safe sex.
In the future I will be on time.
In the future I will stay away from sweets.
In the future I will learn French.
In the future I will keep in touch with friends.
In the future I will obey the signs.
In the future I will not live in the past.
In the future I will be politically aware. For example, who are my revolutionary inspirations -- and why? Well, Che Guevara, obviously, since we're so much alike. The parallels are quite uncanny -- he was a Cuban revolutionary, wore a beret, and disappeared into the jungles of South America in the 1960s to lead Marxist rebellions. And I also enjoy many activities. Plus I think I got shot in Bolivia in 1967. No, wait a minute, that was Chile in 1973, and it was in a dream. But you see what I'm saying about the uncanniness...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Plastic Ruler Wood Ruler

Our family went shopping for school supplies one Sunday at the local shopping center. I noticed that plastic rulers cost more than wood rulers even though the wood ones were nicer and I thought that maybe it was because the plastic ones were longer.

The Truth

I need to have these little plastic animals around me because I often feel lonely.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Stuyvesant Bee, Volume 1, Issue 70

Thursday, November 06, 2008

The Godfather

One afternoon the Godfather was cooking up some spaghetti. He had peeled the cloves of garlic well, and the oil was already on the flame. The Godfather began slicing the garlic so thin he could hardly believe it himself. He chuckled as he tossed the garlic into the oil. (To be continued.)